What have you overheard that made you laugh? – reddit repost

2012.10.29 14:36:23 by andy category : reddit&4ch Tags :askreddit funny reddit text

I was on the bus and the fellow behind me said to his mate “so this guy who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere” and I burst out laughing. What have you overheard that made you laugh or what have you said that made a stranger laugh?

While shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, another mother was having a little trouble controlling her son. So, she kept yelling at him. His name was Marco, and every time she yelled “Marco!” my little girl responded “Polo!” All through the store. Many strangers laughed.

I have a friend named Marco. When I first met him I couldn’t help but do exactly that. I did not make a good first impression.

I was walking around campus and caught the end of a conversation two guys were having: “…yeah man, these pants are like a wonder bra for your ass!”.

Where can I buy these pants? For science..

yoga pants

Or accidentally wearing women’s jeans. The ones that are really low cut and have tiny crotchal areas.

i accidentally wore girls jeans for about two years and they accidentally made my skinny ass look fantastic.

I was sitting at a bar when a guy came in and sat down a few chairs away. He was friends with the bartender who was wearing an orange shirt and a white tie. The guy stared at his phone for a few minutes and looked at the bartender and out of nowhere says quite loudly “Dude you look like a fucking creamsicle.” I don’t know why I laughed so hard.

“So there I am running all around my house throwing dried coyote urine everywhere like a crazy woman.” -Overheard in a restaurant. Woman to her coworkers. Apparently she had a raccoon problem.

This wasn’t at a restaurant called Portillo’s was it? If so, I was one of those coworkers. If not, there are way too many people throwing coyote urine around.

Too many people. Unless she retells the story whenever she’s drunk.

There’s a set of identical twins that come into my store now and again. I mean so identical I thought they were the same person til I saw them both together. Really cool guys. Anyways I’m ringing them up when an older lady behind them says “You two look a lot alike. Are you related?” The twins look at eachother, look at the lady and in a deadpan delivery they must’ve spent their whole lives perfecting they both say “Yeah, we’re cousins.” Honestly one of the best laughs of my life.

Me and my brother have done that. No one laughed though

I had to go to magistrate court because of a ticket. While waiting in the hallway, I hear one lawyer say to another that he is SO good he could plead a sodomy charge down to a ticket for following too close.

should’ve got his card

One of my majors in college was anthropology. During one course, everyone in the class was put in pairs for a mandatory team project. The guy I was stuck with was an idiot, did no work, and then claimed a bunch of the research I had done was his. Since we got a good grade regardless and since I am completely non-confrontational due to social anxiety, I didn’t do anything about it. Well, the next semester, I’m sitting in the main university building (all the conference areas, bookstore, food courts, etc.) eating lunch and reading, and this asshole sits himself down at my table. Apparently he’s taking another anthropology course and wants me to do his damn work again and starts demanding information about early human history. So I just start making up the wildest bullshit I can possibly come up with; I recall that I included something about humans first arriving in the Americas hundreds of thousands of years ago on enormous paddle boats made of sticks and reeds and powered by slaves who had to pedal constantly for weeks lest everyone die, as well as the long and painful history of the Neanderthal Wars. Meanwhile, the moron is eating this all up and scribbling notes the whole time. After about 10 minutes of this, he says he has enough and that he has to go type all this up since the assignment is due in a few hours. No thank you or anything, he just takes off. I watch him walk away, sort of smile and say aloud to myself, “You can have all the credit for that one, you dick.” At that point, I hear someone clapping from the table next to mine. I look over to see two professors sitting there eating their lunch. One is grinning and clapping, the other is laughing so hard he’s not even making noise, just bright red in the face, wheezing, with tears running down his face. TL;DR: Asshole stole credit for a project in college. Got revenge when he demanded I do his research again for a paper he was doing in another class and I proceeded to give him a heaping pile of ridiculous bullshit. Was applauded by two nearby professors who overheard.

And the best part is FUCK THAT GUY

That’s gotta be my favorite story here Would love to know what his teacher thought of his “research”. LOL!

I was in the tail end of a really long, busy shift at Coldstone and I was at the stone mixing someone’s ice cream. Directly in front of me there was a group of three guys and one of them was looking at some of the items on the glass clings on the case. One of them was a turtle sundae. In the best voice a la Master of Disguise, he says, “Am I not turtle-y enough for the turtle sundae?” I lost it.

I was taking a piss in the bathroom at Target a few weeks ago. There was a guy a few stalls away blowing his ass out, grunting loudly, and occasionally whispering things like “Jesus.” I smiled bemusedly because, let’s face it, we’ve all been there. But then I hear a big groan, followed by a gurgling, splattering noise, and he says, long and loud, “WOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!” I burst out in a fit of laughter that lasted long after I’d walked out of the bathroom. This man was shocked and awed by the shit he’d just taken.

This gave me a good giggle.

He did it for shits and giggles.

I’m on a packed bus, and this random guy squeezes his way through the crowd to get to me and asks if he could ask me a question. I say sure, and he goes, “So …… are you Asian or Japanese?” I kinda stare at him dumbfounded for a second, and I reply back, “Um … a little bit of both.” He nods his head like it’s totally what he expected and squeezes his way back to his spot. People around just had the expression of lolwut. I’m Korean, btw.

You failed the test. You were not the contact he was waiting for.

“The sun rises in the east and that is where I was born.”

He might’ve been flirting with you.

Shoulda said “I’m whatever you want me to be.”

Because random people asking about my ethnicity immediately gets me all hot and bothered.

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