I think I can learn a thing or two from this man.(x post /r/facepalm) – reddit repost

2012.10.29 02:38:27 by andy category : reddit&4ch Tags :facebook funny reddit


I went kayaking several weeks ago on a river with extremely high water levels, and my kayak flipped. There was no shoreline, and the banks were sharp angles, covered in mud. After my 5th failed attempt to get all the water out of the kayak, I decided to live with whatever water was left, and paddle down-river until I found a shoreline. Right before I attempted to flip it a final time, the largest spider I’ve ever seen(several inches in diameter) came skirting down the river, right under my kayak. I turned it over, hoping to see the spider scurry out and away – It did not. At this point, my friends were far down the river, and I had no strength to try and empty the water out again. Let it be known that a day or two prior to this, I had an argument on reddit about how harmless spiders were and that everyone has a ridiculous irrational fear. So, this was my “man up” moment – my “don’t be a hypocrite” moment. My just-kayak-300-more-yards-with-a-hand-sized-spider-swimming-near-your-crotch-moment. The second I hit the shoreline, I flipped the kayak over and sprinted away as fast as possible. I’m sorry reddit, I’m so sorry. Spiders can be scary as fuck sometimes.

That story was enthralling. You had me terrified and making sure there were no hand sized spiders in the area.

TIL hand sized spiders can swim. shudder

Won’t be long before they can open doors, too. Sweet dreams!

I don’t think it’ll be long before spiders realise how terrified most humans are of them. Once they’re armed with that knowledge, prepare for the uprising. We will all awake one day to find a sea of spiders taking over everything we own. Homes, office blocks, department stores, old Mrs Pickles who lives down the street… EVERYTHING.

pretty sure all the spiders i run into already know this.. they always chase me down D:

I’m from Australia, and I have never seen a spider that small. Man up.

Well, maybe. It’s hard to judge size when things are upside-down

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