Roommate just knocked on my door and woke me up. – reddit repost

2012.11.16 08:16:51 by andy category : reddit&4ch Tags :animals aww pics

Roommate just knocked on my door and woke me up. “Hey bro, can I wipe in your bathroom? A squirrel just came out of the sewer mid deuce and smacked me in the balls, I’m not going back in there.” Poop Squirrel was stuck like this for a while before we finally got him outside. 

A few years ago I was sleeping and my roommate woke me up saying “hey man I’m really sorry to wake you up but I’m running late and need to leave for work right now. I just wanted to warn you that there is a raccoon locked in the bathroom. I didn’t want you to go in there for your morning poop and get bit or something. The raccoon guy is on his way right now” To which I replied “the fuck?”. And he left. All of it was very true though.

Upvote for “racoon guy”

This raccoon guy?

No, this raccoon guy!

maybe this raccoon guy?

Did I miss something basic in High School biology, how do these animals breath under water long enough to pop up in your toilet? Not to mention even the willingness to embark on the journey in the first place!

Actually there isn’t much water involved, there isn’t water from the toilet all the way to the sewer, only at the base of the toilet. The much more improbable part is the length, diameter, and angle of the pipe an animal would be required to climb to get to the toilet. I usually conclude these stories are simply people making the incorrect assumption that something found in the bathroom came in through the toilet, or are just completely made up.

Unfortunately, this is one of those things that people think is just an urban legend until it happens to them. It really does happen. http://gothamist.com/2011/01/28/rat_emerges_from_toilet_to_terrify.php

Did you ever consider that the raccoon was just acting civilized and decided to use the toilet instead of your front lawn? Don’t jump to conclusions.

I didn’t jump to any conclusions. Keeping him locked away was merely a safetly precaution for both myself and the critter. Once the expert showed up it was quickly determined that the raccoon was indeed an asshole.

I would be pretty pissed too, if I was taking a dump only to realize afterwards that the door was locked, trapping me inside for hours.

this is the shit that my nightmares are made of. So thanks for that.

A few weeks ago, about 3 am, I woke up and my room smelled like a sewer, I heard a noise and was just in time to see a rat run across the room and disappear into to toilet. The windows and doors were locked, so it had to have come from there. So I close the seat and put a brick on it. A few hours later I could hear it trying to come back up. For the next week I peed in the sink and took my shits at work. Now I always keep the seat down and I can only sleep comfortably with a brick on top. When I take a shit I am swift and mindful. You would be too if you’ve seen the things I have. There is nothing worse than the fear of getting castrated by a rat when you are in a place that has been, for time immemorial, your most sacred sanctuary.

Just cradle the ol lads while duecing

I read this in an Irish accent.

Original Link

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