last night I peed on my girlfriend’s kitten… – reddit repost
A lot of people will probably be upset over this, but guys, I love kittens too and I swear it wasn’t my fault. So last night me and my girlfriend were up late drinking a couple beers and watching tv. We were about to go to sleep so I got up to get my pre-sleep piss in. My girlfriend’s bathroom is set up strangely and has two doors in it – one from her bedroom and one from the hallway. I walked through the bedroom door and forgot to close the other one. Lately my girlfriend’s four month old kitten, Coco, has been really into sinks and toilets. I don’t know why because she hates baths. Anyway, midstream Coco jumps up on the toilet bowl and before I can cut off the supply, she sticks her little head straight into my stream. This is how the rest went:
ME: COCO NOOO!!!!
GF: What? What happened?
ME: I… can’t… tell you.
GF: Why not? What did you do?
ME: I just can’t.
GF: DID YOU PEE ON MY CAT?
ME: [fall to floor and laugh for two whole minutes]
I then had to chase the kitten around the apartment for the next five minutes while laughing so I could clean her, but not before my girlfriend accidentally touched the cat’s head covered in urine. Here is a photo of the adorable little victim. I’m sorry Coco.
This makes it your cat now
yes, according to the laws of urinary ownership.
It’s how I get all my stuff.
It’s cool man, I know this feel. I peed on my dogs head once. Was outside in the grass and he was sniffing around looking for a place to squat and I suddenly had the urge to pee. I looked around to make sure nobody was watching and took it out and started to pee. Almost instantly the dog looped around my legs and jumped up trying to bite the stream, getting face-pissed in the process. For a good twenty seconds I was twirling around like a sprinkler trying to get away from him and he was following, jumping through the piss and having a marvelous time.
twirling around like a sprinkler trying to get away from him and he was following, jumping through the piss and having a marvelous time. Favorite visual of the day…I’m tearing I’m laughing so hard…
I just died of laughter in class and had to explain what I was laughing about. Interesting looks followed the words urine and kitten
Related story: My wife and I were getting intimate on our new couch. Being that we’re married, there was no condom; being that we were young, there was no towel. Rather than ruin our couch, I picked her up while still inside her, and carried her into the bathroom. Lid lifted, she was over the seat. I’m propping her up on my legs, getting ready to pull out so everything drains right into the toilet. We’re giggling at the absurdity of the situation. It was at THAT moment that our 6-month old Lab puppy decided to take this opportunity to see what was inside the toilet. He shoves his head between my legs and looks in. Right as I pulled out. The poor guy looked like the top of his head had just been sneezed on by an elephant. TL;DR: Accidentally gave my dog a semen-shower
this is the worst thing ive ever read
you have not been on reddit very long… I would’ve skipped right of this, but that stupid TL;DR was in bold.
You have only been on reddit 1 whole week more than drps.
That’s all it takes.
My mother’s cat Squeaker also loves to come into the bathroom while you do your business, either curling up in the sink or standing on the tank to watch. Just today, my mother was in the bathroom when I heard her shrieking “NO! NO! DAMMIT! SQUEAK!” He had followed her in as usual but this time turned around, backed up to her, and peed all over her naked ass.
Wait wait wait. Your cat pissed on your mom?
Yes! Right on her ass and thigh.
The cat owns your mom now.